Not Useless
by BeyondTheClouds777
Summary: Astrid never thought Hiccup was "Useless". (One-shot) (Post How to Train Your Dragon) (Hiccstrid)


Astrid never thought Hiccup was useless.

Sure, she never thought he was particularly _useful_ , since he couldn't even hold a sword without nearly decapitating himself, and he couldn't face a dragon for the life of him, but that didn't mean she thought he was useless. She always cringed when villagers called him by his familiar nickname, "Hiccup the Useless", and she could see him cringe, too. She could see the hidden pain behind his eyes he kept masked behind sarcastic remarks and sassy comebacks. She saw straight through his brave face more than once...but that also didn't mean she stood up for him, because she didn't. All those years when he was ridiculed, all Astrid did was watch. She couldn't stand up for him. Not without looking like she was turning against Berk to follow the most useless viking in the known world.

Since he killed the Red Death, things were different. The Berkians changed. All of them. Since Hiccup nearly died after facing a dragon almost as big as Berk itself, they treated him differently. Their eyes were open to who he really was. Astrid saw who he really was when he took her on the flight with Toothless. Astrid saw who he was as he led them to war like the best battle commander she'd ever seen. She saw who he was when he was willing to sacrifice himself to save a village who treated him as if he were even more worthless than dirt.

A village who treated him as though he were useless.

The Berkians had changed a lot since Hiccup woke up nearly three weeks ago. They'd changed for the better.

Unfortunately, there were some of them who were still getting used to it…

"Top of the morning!" Hiccup called. Astrid looked up at the sky as Toothless dropped to the ground in front of Stormfly and her. Snotlout, the twins, and Fishlegs stood behind Astrid with their dragons by their sides, and they waved in Hiccup's direction as he slid off Toothless' back.

"So," Fishlegs began, his voice heavy with excitement, as he clapped his hands together. "What are we working on today?"

Hiccup rubbed his hands. "Stuff," he said. "Lots and lots of...stuff…" His voice trailed off. "Okay!" He clapped his hands, and the other dragon riders snapped to attention. "First thing we're going to work on is mapping out where all the old dragon traps are. As soon as we're done, we can start taking them down."

"Why are we taking them down?" Snotlout asked.

Hiccup looked at Snotlout as if he had asked why breathing was important. "Because," Hiccup said, "we've made peace with the dragons now. We don't want one of them to get hurt somehow."

Snotlout rolled his eyes. "I know that, Useless," he grumbled, his pride ever so present in his voice.

Astrid instantly whipped her head in his direction and stared at him in shock. Snotlout simply looked back at her, shrugged, and jumped on Hookfang's back, oblivious to what he had just done, not realizing that he just insulted Hiccup. He did it so often in the past, and only three weeks had passed.

But still...at the same time…

Astrid stepped forward, ready to either a) clobber Snotlout, or b) when in doubt, refer to option one, but Hiccup's hand on her shoulder stopped her. Her first initial reaction would be to jerk away, but instead, she didn't move.

"Astrid, let it go," Hiccup said.

Astrid lifted her hand in Snotlout's direction, still fully prepared to give the boy a good talking-to that may or may not involve the use of her axe. "But he-" she started.

"I know," Hiccup said. "It doesn't matter. Let's get the dragon traps marked."

She lifted her head to look at Hiccup, meeting his eyes. She saw that odd emotion in them again: the one he always tried to hide. The one that said, _Ouch, that really hurt_ but at the same time, _I'm not alright but I can make you think that I am._

She decided to let it go rather than argue with him. She would probably end up embarrassing him more than helping him, in the end of it all.

Hiccup let his hand drop back to his side. "Then let's mount up," he said, turning away from the Hofferson girl and walking towards Toothless. "Our first stop is Raven Point." Before the others had the chance to say elsewise, he was airborne.

Astrid made a mental note to clobber Snotlout later on, when Hiccup wasn't there to stop her. Someone needed to give Snotlout a serious talking to, before it got out of hand, like Astrid feared it would.

When they landed at Raven Point, Hiccup was the first rider off his dragon. He took his notebook and his charcoal and began drawing out a map, tapping his chin whenever he remembered the location of a dragon trap. "Alright," he said. "We're right...here." He tapped the middle of the paper with his charcoal. "We'll mark whatever traps we find and tell my Dad. Then, we'll come back and get rid of them tomorrow. Everyone understand?"

"Sure thing, Useless," Snotlout grumbled.

Astrid froze. She turned back around, ready to punch Snotlout, when Hiccup stopped her yet again. "Astrid, don't," he said.

And Astrid lowered her fist.

The rest of the day, the riders did exactly as Hiccup had told them to. Hiccup didn't speak hardly at all. He directed the riders and wrote out maps for each of them, but he never made any comments or reminded them of anything. As soon as they were finished charting all the maps, Fishlegs, Snotlout, and the twins headed to the village.

Astrid waited for Hiccup.

But he never came.

He had told her that he would finish charting the last few traps the others missed, and he told her not to follow him, which was a bit concerning in it of himself. He also told her that he would meet up with her before the sun set.

Where was he, then?

Confused, and concerned, she dismounted Stormfly, told her dragon to stay put, and walked back through Raven Point, listening for any sign or sound of Hiccup or Toothless. She saw and heard nothing.

But then, she heard an agitated shout, followed by a loud _THUNK_ that reminded her of the sound her axe made when she threw it into a tree. Slowly, using light footsteps, she moved towards the shout to investigate.

The continued shouts and continued _thunks_ led her straight to the cove, where Hiccup had trained Toothless. Astrid couldn't help but wonder, _What's making all that noise?_

She received her answer when she heard another shout. "YAH!" followed by another _THUNK_. She looked towards the shouts and saw Hiccup, his arm outstretched, an axe embedded in a tree in front of him.

She was about to call out to him, to ask him what he was doing, but at the last second, she decided not to. Instead, she watched silently, trying her best to keep hidden.

Hiccup yanked the axe out of the tree and swung it. The blade embedded in the tree, but it hardly sank into the wood at all. In fact, Astrid was surprised it didn't fall right out.

Hiccup pulled the axe back again and repeated the process, only this time, he started shouting again, one word between each hack of the axe.

"I…!"

 _THUNK._

 _YANK._

"...AM…!"

 _THUNK._

 _YANK._

"...NOT…!"

 _THUNK._

 _YANK._

"...USELESS!"

He hurled the axe at the tree again, but the weapon missed it entirely, sinking into the ground almost a yard away from its original target. For a few moments, Hiccup stood there, staring at the axe. After a moment, he turned from the axe, his attention drawn back to the tree.

Then, to Astrid's shock, he sank to his knees, put his head in his hands, and sobbed.

That was all Astrid could take without reacting. She stood up from her crouch and carefully hopped down rock after rock until her feet hit level ground again, on the grassy floor of the cove.

She approached him slowly, her footfalls silent. When she got close enough, she cleared her throat, just to show him that she was there. She didn't want to startle him, especially when he already seemed so edgy (well, at least he didn't have the axe anymore, but still).

He tensed instantly, as soon as he heard the indication of Astrid's presence, and for a long while, neither of them moved or spoke.

Hiccup was actually the one to break the silence. He lowered his hands and lifted his head, his eyes fixated on the tree, turned away from Astrid. "I told you not to follow me," he said thickly.

Astrid knew he didn't want her following him, but she did it anyway, and now, she was slowly beginning to regret that decision, to some extent. She'd never seen this side of Hiccup before, and it was unsettling.

But...at the same time...

"Hiccup-" she began, but he cut her off.

"No, stop it," he said. He didn't sound angry, but Astrid could easily assume that he was. He'd just screamed his throat out while hacking madly at a tree (which was still standing with deep and shallow slices torn through the wood). Astrid thought he was pretty mad.

"I...I don't want to hear it, Astrid," Hiccup continued. "Just...just leave me alone."

Astrid wanted to try again. She didn't want him to push her away. She didn't want to leave without at least asking him whether or not he was alright. She didn't want him to suffer alone if he was suffering at all.

 _For Thor's sake, Astrid,_ she thought bitterly against herself. _Of course he's suffering._

"Hiccup-"

"There are some parts of myself I want to keep hidden," Hiccup interrupted her a second time. Slowly, Astrid moved and sank to the ground beside him. He didn't protest, so she assumed he didn't mind. "I don't want you to see me like this."

Astrid looked down. She didn't quite know how to reply to that. "Not all things are meant to be hidden," she said at length. It sounded lame, probably, but it was better than saying nothing and letting the uncomfortable silence hang in the air.

"Well, this is," Hiccup argued. When Astrid didn't respond right away, he rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you. What do _you_ know?"

"I know a lot more than you give me credit for, Hiccup," Astrid tried reasoning with him, although she was pretty sure she wasn't getting anywhere. "Only, of course, I would know a lot more...if you just talked to me…"

"See, that's the problem, Astrid," Hiccup said. During the entire conversation, he never made eye contact with her, and even now, he kept his head down. "You don't know what this is like. You've...you've always had friends, Astrid. You've always been respected, and cared about, and, well, loved, everywhere you go, no matter where it is. Me, on the other hand?" He shook his head. "I'm a walking toothpick." He picked a twig off the ground and snapped it in two between his thumb and his index finger. "Easily broken. Weak. Worthless. Useless."

There was that word again. The word Astrid had grown to hate. "Hiccup-"

"Stop it," he snapped. "Just go away, alright? This isn't your problem, it's mine. You're not the one who can't even chop down a tree."

Astrid sighed sadly and looked back at the damaged tree. Well, Hiccup was right about one thing. She would have been able to chop down that tree in three swings of her axe. How many swings had Hiccup taken? Ten, at the very least?

Astrid sighed again. "You have to stop this, Hiccup," she said.

Hiccup threw his hands over his head. "And there it is!" he shouted. "The 'this' thing again! I need to stop being all of me, and I _get that,_ Astrid! I don't need anyone to remind me, alright!? I have it drilled into my skull! Fifteen years of living with people who hate you does stuff like that!"

His outburst left Astrid, who hadn't been expecting him to yell, silent. Hiccup looked down at the ground again, sighing heavily.

"Sorry," he said. "I...I didn't mean…" He sighed again. "Just go, please?"

Astrid thought about leaving, but there was something tugging at her mind, telling her to stay where she was. It was an odd feeling, but something in her head told her that she cared for Hiccup, and she knew in her heart (although she would never say it out loud) that it was true. She did care for Hiccup, deeply, in fact.

But confronting him about his emotions was something she didn't want to do, and she was pretty sure Hiccup didn't want her to do it, either. She looked at the axe Hiccup had been using to fight the tree with and nodded in its direction.

"Your form was wrong," she said quietly.

Hiccup stiffened. " _What?"_

Astrid rose to her feet and pulled the axe free from the ground. She rubbed dirt off the flat of its blade with her thumb and handed it back in Hiccup's direction. "Your form," she said. "Come on, stand up and I'll show you what I mean."

Hiccup sighed heavily, yet complied, rising to a stand and staring at her expectantly. His eyes were red, but she made no comment. Instead, she handed him the axe and moved to stand behind him.

"You're supposed to hold it like this," she said, putting her hands on his forearms. "Now, you put a lot of action on your wrists when you throw. Try putting a little less action on your wrists, and let your arm do the work. Use your arm like a catapult, and use your wrist to aim. Got it?"

Hiccup lowered his head again, losing his grip on the axe, letting it fall against the ground again. "What's the _point?"_ he asked. He sounded more frustrated than actually angry. "I can't get the tree down even if I _do_ try, and even if I _do_ do what you say I should do."

"It takes time." Astrid reached down and grabbed the axe again. She wondered whether or not she should give it back to him. "I couldn't do it right my first time, either."

He drops the axe. "What's the _point?_ I can't get the tree down even if I do try."

Hiccup shook his head. "Yeah," he said. "That'd be great, if it _wasn't_ my first try."

That made Astrid pause. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Hiccup shook his head. "Follow me," he said simply, and Astrid followed him instantly as he led her out of the cove and further into the forest, deeper into Raven Point than Astrid had ever been before.

It was after a few moments of walking that Astrid saw the jagged, uneven cuts in the trees. Some of them were small and thin, whereas others were long and wide.

Astrid stared at them wide eyed, and then looked back at Hiccup. Hiccup didn't meet her eyes. Instead, he ran his fingers along one of the larger slashes.

"This," he said, "was when Snotlout called me Useless for the first time. And this," he turned back to another tree and touched another slash, "was the time I tried taking down a Gronckle when I was seven."

Astrid was dumbfounded. She didn't know what to say.

"This one," Hiccup moved towards the biggest, most jagged slash, "was when I first figured out what happened to my mother. When I was five, actually." He smiled, although it was pained and beyond fake. "The axe swung back and sliced my arm, so then, I was angry with the tree, so I did this." He touched another gash in the tree, and then looked back at Astrid. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Astrid blinked and lowered her gaze. Yes, she had been staring, but that was only because she was at a loss of what else to do. She didn't know what she was supposed to do, or what Hiccup _expected_ her to do.

"I don't know what to say," Astrid admitted.

Hiccup shrugged. "I don't blame you," he said. "It...it really...it wasn't an easy time for me, Astrid. Every year, every wound inflicted by words...I...well, I guess I made the trees pay for it. But...I didn't know what else to do."

Astrid took a step towards him.

"I guess I was never a natural at the 'Viking' business," Hiccup sighed. "I wasn't one who could kill a dragon with the mere lifting of an eyebrow. But, the harder I worked at it, the harder it became. The more I tried, the more I was ridiculed for trying."

"Hiccup, I'm…" Astrid paused. What should she say? What _could_ she say? "I'm sorry," she said.

Hiccup shook his head. "I'm not mad at you, Astrid," he said. "I'm not mad at anyone. I just...I'm just not used to...you know...people caring. And Snotlout-"

"Snotlout is an idiot," Astrid said. "I'm going to clobber him as soon as we get back to the village-"

"You don't have to."

"No, I want to."

Hiccup laughed weakly, although it died in his throat early on. "Yeah," he said, "well, you can do that if you want to. I really don't care."

Astrid looked down again, as did Hiccup across from her. "You're not useless, Hiccup," Astrid said.

Hiccup's head snapped up in her direction again. "What?"

"You're not useless," Astrid repeated. She lifted her head, meeting his emerald eyes. "I know, we called you useless, and we treated you as though you were useless, but we were wrong. We were so wrong, Hiccup, and I promise you, if I could, I would go back and take it all back. I would punch Snotlout for every one time he called you Useless, and I would do the same for everyone else."

Hiccup sniffed. "But why? It didn't bother you before I killed the Red Death."

Astrid cringed. "Actually, Hiccup," she said, "it did. It did bother me. I was just afraid to stand up for you. I was afraid of what they would think, and I admit that, but now, Hiccup, you've showed me that standing up for what is right is the right thing to do. You showed me that it doesn't matter what other people say. You never gave up, Hiccup, even after everything we put you through. You kept trying. You persevered, and look where it led you. You're a hero, Hiccup. And...you taught me how to be brave."

The entire time she was speaking, Hiccup looked shocked. Beyond shocked, even. "I...I don't...you...but you were brave, before-"

"No, I wasn't," Astrid shook her head. "I don't think bravery means having no fear, and following the crowd. Bravery is when you break away from the crowd to do what you know is right. Bravery is what you did, Hiccup. You did the right thing and saved us from the Red Death and showed us the truth about dragons. If that isn't bravery, Hiccup, I don't know what is."

Hiccup didn't answer. He stood, gaping in shock and confusion. "Do...do you...do you really mean that?" he asked. He sounded so hopeful and careful both at the same time, as if scared to believe Astrid was telling the truth. Scared that maybe, when he did believe her, she would point back and laugh at him for being so foolish.

He shouldn't have ever worried. She would never do that to him.

She nodded. "I mean it, Hiccup," she said. She took both his hands in both of her own, squeezing his fingers reassuringly. "I could never emphasize it enough."

He paused, and then, he pulled away, his hands slipping from hers. For a moment, Astrid feared she'd said something wrong. Maybe he didn't appreciate what she'd said. Maybe he didn't believe her. Maybe she'd just made it worse.

But then, he embraced her tightly, and after a moment, she hugged him back. Then again, maybe she'd made it better. Maybe he believed her. Maybe he _did_ appreciate what she'd said.

"Thank you," Hiccup whispered. "Thank you."

Astrid squeezed him tightly. "You're welcome," she said.

They stood there for longer than Astrid wished to think about, and then, at length, they both pulled away. After a moment of shy hesitation, Astrid kissed his cheek.

"You aren't useless," she said. "Remember that, alright?"

Hiccup nodded and smiled. An honest smile; one from his heart. Astrid smiled back. Her work here was done. She turned away and began heading back towards the village, when Hiccup stopped her.

"You know," he said, "you should have minded your own business, Astrid. There are some parts of myself I don't like other people to see."

Astrid's shoulders slumped.

"But…"

But?

She looked back at him.

"At the same time," he said, "thank you, again. I can't remember the last time someone's actually cared enough to follow me and make sure I was okay. So...yeah. Thanks for that."

Astrid only smiled back. "You're welcome," she said. "You coming back to the village, or are you gonna hang around here for a little while longer?"

Hiccup shook his head. "No, I'll go back to the village," he said. "Mind if I join you?"

Astrid shook her head as well. "Not at all," she said. "Come on, let's go."

…

In the days to follow, Astrid found herself checking back at Raven Point more often, searching for any sign of Hiccup, and looking for any new slashes and gashes in the bark of the trees.

But she never found any, and she never saw Hiccup out there with an axe again.

Words were a powerful thing, Astrid saw that now. The snide comments of Snotlout and the nickname he and the other Berkians had come up with, "Hiccup the Useless", destroyed Hiccup, bit by bit. They crushed his hopes and made him feel worthless, pathetic, weak…

Useless...

But it wasn't too late to build him back up with words of encouragement, and Astrid made a promise.

As long as she was around, no one would call Hiccup "Useless" again.

And no one ever did.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Hey guys! :) So...yeah, this story really speaks for itself, although I do want to put a few notes at the end.**

 **To those who read the "How to Train Your Dragon" books (I've only read the first four, but I am going to finish the series really soon, hopefully. YAY! :D), you guys know how Hiccup was treated by Snotlout in the books. He got his face smashed in the snow in the first book, called "Useless" many, many times, and then in the second book, Snotlout almost KILLED Hiccup while they were out at sea. If it hadn't been for the coffin that slammed into the boat, Hiccup would have been killed by his own cousin.**

 **So, I know in the first film, we don't actually see Snotlout or the twins beat Hiccup up, but I assume that's kind of what happened. Living in fear of his own people, being called "Hiccup the Useless" for his whole life (and in the first book, "Hiccup the Useless" became "Hiccup the Useless and his dragon, Toothless").**

 **I don't know, maybe that's just me thinking about it too much. Look at me over here. *waves hands* Obsessing over fictional characters' lives. Oh boy. And yet I don't stop, do I? :D Once in a fandom, always in a fandom. :)**

 **Until next story!**

 **-BeyondTheClouds777**


End file.
